You are just so behind that you’ll never catch up?     I have those moments and this is definitely one.

So bear with me while I try to just dig in….

I have so many photos and so much to say, but that’s where that feeling comes from.  Where do I start and what is most important ??   So this might be totally random but I really think this June was the busiest I can remember, added to a May that was a blur and well, you get the picture.   

This past month has been a good one, but one in which everyone in the family was tackling something hard or new.  The girls joined the swim team for the first time.   It was their decision to do (of course I didn’t tell them what the reality of that would mean in terms of swimming and I just held my breath that they would actually go through with it.)   Delaney has always been a kid that has total anxiety about swim lessons, mainly for the fear she is going to be asked to do something she can’t do.  She has trust issues with the water, but is actually a super hard worker and always did really well at lessons.   She begged me this year to not sign her up for lessons.   So I told her to choose swim lessons or swim team, which one of her friends has done for some time.  So she decided to try swim team and McKinley went along since she had friends trying it too for the first time (McK actually LOVES to swim.) Swim team has involved practice 5 days a week in the middle of the day and meets every Saturday.   It’s been an everyday affair and honestly lots of tears have been shed, all by McK about fear of the unknown.  She actually loves the swimming, but fears other pools and strange people, new teachers, change, etc.  I told the girls that swimming in the swim meets was their choice and they sure didn’t have to swim at the meets.  Delaney watched the first meet and then decided it was much harder to watch, then to swim.  

The second meet both of the girls swam and I think I was way more nervous than either one of them (honestly I don’t have nerves very often at all, but I sure did this day.)  My heart raced so fast from feelings of anxiety to how they would do to goose bumps and teary eyes full of pride  Delaney swam in 6 races and McKinley 1, which was probably about a equal accomplishment.   I have never been more proud of them for tackling something that emotionally seemed like something they couldn’t do, but physically seemed almost unthinkable.    It still chokes me up just thinking about it.

Delaney swam against other 10 year olds that have been swimming since they were 5 and 6.  She had such determination and confidence…it left me speechless. And McKinley, her challenges were more about the environment than anything else.  She gets overwhelmed by a lot of people and new places she doesn’t know.   She will just get overwhelmed by it all and shut down.  So it worked great to swim at home for her first meet.  Her friends were so precious cheering her on and making her feel comfortable.  25 meters is a long way for a little one….with everyone watching and cheering (for her it’s almost harder to have so many eyes on her.)  I found this photo later of one of her friends hugging her from behind just seconds before the race started.    Of course, in true McK fashion, she told me as I greeted her at the end of her race that it was much shorter than she thought it was, and actually liked it.  (always the case with her, but that doesn’t making doing things for the first few times any easier.)

Each swim meet has gotten a little easier and the girls more confident.   It’s been cute to watch Delaney set goals and shoot for better times.  Her first meet she was placed in the “B team” relay and by the second meet her time was good enough that she was placed in the “A team” relay.  We watched her race with the girls that have been winning races and she had to do her part to keep up and not slow them down (girls that have been swimming several years.)   I will never forget the feeling when she was put 4th to swim and their team was in the lead as the third swimmer approached her.  I looked at her and it was one of those moments that I will never forget.  The entire pool was cheering and she knew it was up to her to do her part.  I felt this rush of emotions that I’m sure I’ll have difficulty putting in to words.   I saw her take 2 slow deep breaths, after listening to her lane coach who was making sure to tell her just when it was “go time.”  She pushed off the wall with a determination and focus:  and I hoped that if God ever answered prayers, he would would jump in here.   If ever there was a moment she could swim fast, let it be now.  

My mom and I watched as she swam against the fastest 10 year olds of the meet and …as the lead went to another team.   My heart raced, my mom cried (and so did I.)   Not about the results, but about the courage.   The courage it took that day and at that moment was worth far more than any first place finish.   I think I held my breath until I saw the smile on Delaney’s face.   Would she feel as proud of her accomplishment as we did?   She didn’t finish in first, but third and the smile on her face was enough to confirm to me that she was proud of herself too.   

We have been in all kinds of sports, but I found this to be one of the most emotional and inspirational sports we have tried.  There is just something special about it.   And I was wondering if I’m the only mom watching  that finds it that incredible?  I might be the only nutty mom, getting choked up seeing my kids do things most grown ups (including myself) don’t have the courage to do. 

A few more favorite photos…

They have their order number written on their finger for which swimmer they are in the relay.

On their arms they have the numbers of the races they are in.  So much to keep track of, so just have it written on your arm.  Cutest thing to watch them check their numbers all the time.  McKinley is really attached to her numbers and really likes that she doesn’t have too many.  She was going to swim in race 1 at one of the meets that was cancelled because of rain and she was so relieved as she didn’t like that number.  She always has 21 and a couple of other relay numbers.  

These two girls (McK and a friend from her class) were a great pair from day 1.  Both were just not quite sure of this whole experience and they enjoyed having someone that felt just as they did…nervous and unsure of it all.  This photo was the last swim meet in which they both swam together in a relay, something we all wondered if would ever happen this year.  So proud of these little stinkers….

shortly after they both thought they were pro’s….

Marty and I are each tackling something hard (or at least hard for us)) this summer, much like the girls, that we both would have thought impossible a year ago….more on that in my next post, which I promise not post sooner than my last one.

We have been watching the show together since the beginning and love it.  Last night we had dance pictures so we had to tape the finale.  Although after the girls were in bed, I cheated and couldn’t resist catching the ending.  I have to say, I was shocked to see Helen.  I’m all for being fit and healthy, but I honestly thought she was TOO thin.  I just couldn’t stop staring at her.  Did anyone else think this, or is it just me?  

Delaney loves Helen and she’s wanted her to win all along, but I wouldn’t have guessed it would be her, mainly because she didn’t have that much weight to lose.  Looking forward to watching the full 3 hours with the girls, although I’m not sure when that’s going to happen as we have something every night this week.

Typing the title above, reminded me of a picture I took on Easter.   This seems to be a trend around here.  On the way home from church, Delaney was busted by me for forgetting something.  I think maybe it was leaving her dirty clothes in the bathroom.  We recently put in to place a policy that if any clothes get left in the bathroom, no TV for the day.  Shocking how motivated they can be by TV. Last night I was tucking Mck in to bed and she gasp’d, I left my clothes in the bathroom and up she went to get them picked up.

Anyway, as I was giving a little lecture to Delaney on the way home, apparently McKinley decided to give her a little hand gesture in the back where I wouldn’t see.  It looked something like this, however, I turned around just in time to catch it and well, she was totally busted as well.

So later when I wanted to take a few pictures and was thinking that I might see some genuine innocence and sweet kids (something like this)

or this

I got the “Loser” pose posted in the first pictures and a lot of this

Nice blurry real life behind the scenes shots of sisters.  I’m imagining (not a lot different than with boys, which we don’t have) but just less farting and wrestling, I imagine, maybe.

She’s been telling me for some time now that she’s almost “double digits.”   I don’t think I ever considered that idea as a kid, but Delaney is one unique kid.  She just turned 10 and  not only did she think of the fact, but she is contstantly reminding me.  ”Double digits Mom.”  She’s told us many times and even strangers.   She even told a few people that her life at home is half over.  Kind of a sad thing to hear your daughter say as a mom, but to her it’s absolutely exciting.  Yet she is still my kid who can’t be home alone.  So while she totally “thinks” she is double digits and such a big kid, I think she’s got a ways to go and I’m totally ok with that.   She would deny this to the moon and back, but my double digit girl still asks to snuggle with me every day and I’m ok with that too.;)

Here are a few pictures from her birthday.  We always spend the day just the 4 of us on our birthdays, which I like and then celebrate with family and friends another day.  The day we brought her home from the hospital, we were surprised wtih tulips blooming in the yard for the first time and so it’s become a tradition to suprise her with tulips when she wakes on her birthday.  It’s always a challenge to pull that off and keep them a surprise but have them show up at 6 am to greet her.  

(excuse the crappy photos, I had some weird setting on my camera and didn’t notice until I was downloading all the pics, oh well)

Delaney really is a hard kid to buy for as she really doesn’t want that much (and putting a kitchen in her room really isn’t a consideration.)  She got some tennis balls and the H.S. Musical DVD from her sister.  Daddy gave her a wireless odometer for her bike.  Her last one broke and she loves to know her speed, calories burned etc (the kid is very in to numbers that relate to life.)  From me she got a few shirts, shorts and a pair of flip flops.    She also got a new bedside dresser for her room so she doesn’t have to use the make-shift one she’s been using forever.    She choose to eat out at a Japanese restaurant and it was a good day.

She also likes to pick something new for her birthday treats for school.  So this year’s pick was brownie filled ice cream cones, covered with frosting and sprinkles look like a kids sweet tooth dream.

coming next:  party photos….

Have a wonderful weekend

(I apologize, some of these photos aren’t the best.  I am having focusing issues and I have yet to figure out if it’s the camera, lens or the operator.  I’m thinking the operator.)

I had a couple last minute returns to make at the Mall and McKinley went with me.  I asked her if she wanted to stop by and visit Santa (hoping she might agree, knowing she had already told me she wasn’t going to this year.)   She said no, as I expected, but then she said she wanted to just walk by and see if Santa was the same as Santa who came to school.   So we walked up close and she said he was the same (he actually wasn’t, but I wasn’t going to mention that.)   I asked again if she was sure she didn’t want to say hi and she was firm on that.

So we walked off and a few minutes later as we were heading in to Hallmark, where she was raving over a new Webkinz she wanted.  But before I could give her the speech, she said, “I know you’re already done shopping.    Santa walked passed and they met face to face.  Her smile was big, but she was a little startled to see him come by.  But I think she liked getting a little wave from him.  He had his body guards with him and McKinley said Santa must need to use the bathroom.   

So on Christmas Eve, when Santa arrived, (something this Santa has been doing  for 35 years on Christmas Eve) McKinley got that same shy grin we saw at the Mall.  Santa brought her and all the kids a present.  ,    When she opened her present from Santa, it was more than obvious she couldn’t believe that Santa knew just what Webkinz she wanted.  We got it all on video.  Her surprise and excitement was just the cutest.  I took her a while and then she finally said he saw it all at the mall.  That’s how he knew.  I wouldn’t have ever connected the dots like that, but it made total sense to her.  

She kept touching the tag and looking back at Santa in surprise.

and touching the tag some more.   After she opened her present, I took the tag off the wrapping and set it up on the shelf.

Later on that night, we went to church at 10 pm and I looked down to see she had found that tag and had it in the pocket of her purse.  She kept taking it out and looking at it some more.

Delaney would like to talk about Santa and LOT and her thoughts on the topic.  She even decided to tell her sister a few times and ruin her fun.  However, our house rule is “you have to believe to receive.”  So even Delaney seemed a little excited and surprised to see Santa stop by on Christmas Eve.

notice the nice focused present in this shot….I have a LOT of those issues.

McK and her Grandpa.  She’s showing off her new purse which came from a gift she opened earlier at home.  She is in love with the little side pocket, which later she uses for something special.  Grandpa told Marty that this moment was his favorite of Christmas.

The girls with their Mor Mor (Swedish for Grandma) who was opening her present from us.   

It was a framed enlargement of Marty and his dad fishing near a beautiful lake in Colorado when we visited. She liked it.

Caught McKinley laughing at Uncle Marv who was just wall papered with a few bows on his face.  Should have gotten a picture of that, but apparently I didn’t.

for some reason I just like this one

a little time with Daddy, after all the excitement

We left at 9:45 to head over to the candlelight church service, which was my favorite of Christmas.  I have loved it since I was a little kid and I so badly wanted to take out my camera.  However, I didn’t.  I believe God would totally be supportive of a photo that helps me remember something I love so much, but I doubt my husband would feel the same way.  But I think next year I might just have to get a photo.

We made it home about midnight and the girls crashed pretty fast, before putting out some cookies for Santa.  So I made a note for Santa and put the cookies out since I knew McKinley would want them left.

I think I got to bed around 3.  I have found that the last few years, I find the quiet of Christmas Eve to be one of my favorite moments.  I like to surprise the girls with a fun table setting and so I got everything ready for the morning, including some breakfast items and sat by the fire and lights of the tree with Zorro.

edited to add:

I custom ordered McKinley’s Christmas dress from Michelle’s Etsy’s shop (sorry, can’t get the link to work http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5254945) and I also ask her to make a skirt in the same fabric for Delaney.   I rarely get to match the girls outfits any longer, something I have loved doing since they were little.  But I try to sneak it in where and when I can, that Delaney doesn’t resist too much.  (It’s not cool to coordinate because she’s in to being unique.) 

Some of my favorite gifts this year were from Etsy.  I think I need to share some of those in an upcoming post. 

more to come….(this was longer and more than I realized)

We are celebrating our family Christmas with my side of the family.  I have eaten WAY TOO MUCH.  Seriously.   I will be sharing some of the photos soon.  

I was looking at the photos from our Christmas at home and this one is one of my favorites.  Hope you all had a really nice New Year’s Eve.